For eight years, on the Sunday before Mother’s day my husband starts asking me the same questions:
* Ra, what do you want for mother’s day?
*Bae, If you could have anything for Mother’s day what would it be?
*So what’s Mother’s day looking like for the entire family?
And every year I answer the same way. “I’d like to rest” “Rest, and a mixer” ,and “I don’t know I’m the mom, I plan dinners everyday, just not today”. And every year on Mother’s day, he gets up early , makes me breakfast and sets me off to some secluded space to enjoy his awesome eggs, bad TV and alone time. And at precisely 10am there is a floral delivery and an edible arrangement. The kids scream and then we all pile into the bed and watch bad TV and eat chocolate covered fruit (then we go out to dinner with family). It sounds routine and maybe boring to others but I’m simple and I love routine.
However, this year I’ve been asked to speak on a panel at NY’s Hot 97 Street Soldiers. There will be no early morning eggs, because mommy has to be on a train at 7am. I have to get ready in the guestroom and I’m pray the kids sleep long enough for me to slip out. That didn’t happen, CJ was fine, he made bowls of cereal and assured me that my Mothers day breakfast would be ready when I got back, CW cried and my husband half asleep wished me good luck follwed by a plea to get back by noon, in a way that let’s me know the flowers and fruit arrangement will be delivered slightly later. And all of this broke my heart, not because they seemed okay but because sometimes Motherhood means breaking tradition….no tweaking tradition for opportunities that might not arise again. Motherhood is about sacrifice and understanding the choices you make might be hard but in the long run, they will pay off. I’ve made a lot of big choices over the last six months, all scary, all hard but in small ways paying off for my family. This is just one more, and all I can hope for as I head back home, is that my eggs are warm, my tea hot and that the family that supports me and cherishes me everyday is still up for some cuddling while eating chocolate covered fruit and watching bad TV.
Happy Mother’s Day !